How to get Malaysia tourist VISA from Chennai ?

My explanation should address the following queries

* How to get a Malaysia tourist VISA ?
* How to get a Malaysia tourist VISA from Chennai ?

It is very simple. It just cost's Rs.750. Not required to approach an agent as the charge between Rs.1200 to Rs.1500. But some appeal they can get the VISA done in 1 day. But i suggest you to get it direct in 2 days which is easier too and cheap.

All that you need are the following:

1. Valid passport
2. Flight ticket/itinerary with return journey
3. Passport size photograph - 2
4. Address of stay - It can be hotel address or address of any know person
5. DD with amount Rs.750 in favor of "Consulate General of Malaysia" payable at Chennai (Can be taken from SBI bank)

Address : CONSULATE GENERAL OF MALAYSIA
44, TANK BUND ROAD
NUNGAMBAKKAM
CHENNAI - 600 034, INDIA
Landmark - Opposite to Lyola College
Telephone : +091-44-28226888/28226889/28226895
Fax : +091-44-28226891
Email : mwmadras@dataone.in GMT : (+) 5 1/2 hours Work day : Monday - Friday
0900 am - 1700 pm Holiday : Saturday and Sunday

Walk in to the above address and get a VISA application form. Fill up the form(IM 47) with the required details.
You will have to mention the Address of Stay in this form(No proof required)
Now the security guy will verify the form, arrange it with the other documents and send you inside.
Give the documents inside the counter, you will receive an acknowledgment slip.
You will be asked to collect the Passport in 2 days. Carry the slip to collect the passport with the VISA stamped.

You can also call up directly to the Cosulate and enquire what is required. They will reapeat what is said above.

Happy Journey !!!

Kamal

10 management lessons from Lehman Brothers demise

By Rick Wartzman

Former Lehman Brothers Vice-President Lawrence McDonald has titled his insider account of the firm's demise A Colossal Failure of Common Sense. Peter Drucker, meanwhile, was once said by the London Business School's Sumantra Ghoshal to "practice the scholarship of common sense."

With this sharp contrast in mind a year after Lehman went bust here are 10 management lessons derived from Drucker's insights:

1. Executives who are preoccupied with their company's daily stock price or consumed with quarterly earnings targets don't make very good stewards of the enterprise.

"The most critical management job is to balance short-term and long-term," Drucker declared in a 1999 interview, adding that a "one-sided emphasis" on the former is "deleterious and dangerous."

Ultimately, said Drucker, deciding "whether a business should be run for short-term results or with a focus on the long term is...a question of values. Financial analysts believe that businesses can be run for both simultaneously. Successful businesspeople know better."

2. Tying individual compensation to short-term gains only exacerbates the problem.

It rewards the executive "for doing the wrong thing," Drucker said. "Instead of asking, 'Are we making the right decision?' the temptation is to ask, 'How did we close today?' It is encouragement to loot the corporation."

The Aspen Institute recently urged companies to "define firm-specific metrics of long-term value," and then use these measures "both to communicate with investors" and to "better align executive compensation" with what truly matters. The Federal Reserve is also considering forcing financial institutions to adopt policies that tie pay to long-term performance. Drucker would have lauded this initiative.

3. People don't like it when those who've exhibited the worst cases of managerial myopia get filthy rich in the process.

Inevitably, said Drucker, there is "an outbreak of bitterness and contempt for the super-corporate chieftains who pay themselves millions." Former Lehman Chief Executive Richard Fuld, who enjoyed $40 million in pay and benefits in 2007, recently complained that he has "been pummeled. They're looking for someone to dump on right now, and that's me," Fuld said.

Drucker, it's plain, wouldn't feel sorry for him. "Few top executives," he once remarked, "can even imagine the hatred...and fury that has been created" because of their unjustified pay. "I don't know what form it will take, but the envy developing from their enormous wealth will cause trouble."

4. High profits don't necessarily mean that you're producing anything of genuine value.

Lehman, in fact, reported record earnings in 2005, 2006, and 2007. That may have impressed the investment community. But that's not what counts in the end. "Securities analysts believe that companies make money," said Drucker. "Companies make shoes."

 

5. Moving money around isn't the same thing as producing actual goods and services.

To be sure, financial instruments have a vital role to play in spreading risk and ensuring the smooth functioning of the global economy. But when Wall Street is generating 40% of U.S. corporate profits, something has gotten way out of whack.

Drucker called this worldwide flow of capital and credit the "symbol economy," as distinct from "the real economy." "Americans," he said, "cannot live in a symbol economy where businessmen play only with numbers."

6. When you buy and sell lots of assets at prices that are considerably higher than the underlying value of what's being traded, the run-up can't possibly last.

"The average duration of a soap bubble is known-it's about 26 seconds," said Drucker. "Then the surface tension becomes too great and it begins to burst. For speculative crazes, it's about 18 months."

7. Even professional bankers, who ostensibly are experts in "risk management," aren't immune from the soap-bubble syndrome.

Of course, this doesn't mean that they don't try to outsmart the system. The tendency is for firms to resort to "'trading for their own accounts,' that is, to outright speculation," Drucker noted. "This, however, as centuries of financial history teach (beginning with the Medici in 15th century Europe) has only one-but an absolutely certainmoutcome: catastrophic losses."

8. It's especially hard to avoid those losses when you don't want to hear any bad news.

Lehman and most other investment banks refused to even contemplate the "potential danger" of becoming overly leveraged, McDonald recounts in his book. "Wall Street was listening for calm seas, record profits, best-ever growth, joy, wealth, prosperity, and b-o-o-o-o-n-u-u-s. Anything less was essentially out of the culture." When Lehman's fixed-income chief warned Fuld about the unsustainable bets that the firm was making, McDonald adds, Fuld "decided to bully him, to belittle him publicly."

Other former Lehman bankers paint a similar picture, saying that Fuld and his top lieutenant weren't interested in dissenting views. But "dissent...is essential for effective decision-making," Drucker said. Without it, those at the top simply can't take on what Drucker described as "the most important task" they're responsible for: "to anticipate crisis."

9. As long as human beings are in charge of our major institutions, this won't be the last crisis we see.

"Scandals are a normal feature of the landscape," said Drucker, who wouldn't be shocked that companies are once again taking on substantial risk and selling the kinds of exotic financial products that triggered the Great Recession. "They very typically begin with something that goes wrong, and you...brush it under the rug. And you end up by trying to brush elephants under the rug. And then it doesn't work any more, and it collapses."

10. "Stupid people make stupid mistakes. Brilliant people make brilliant mistakes."

Rick Wartzman is the executive director of the Drucker Institute at Claremont Graduate University.

Best Divorce Letter !!

Dear wife: 
 
 
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm
 leaving you forever. 
I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have
nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell.

 
Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today
 & that was the last straw. 
 
Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had
 a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore
 a brand new pair of silk boxers. 
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after
 watching all of your soaps. 
 
You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't
 want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
 
Either you are cheating on me or you don't love me
 anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

 
 
Your, EX-Husband 
 
 
P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are
 moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
 
 
 
===================================== 
 
 
Dear Ex-Husband: 
 
 
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
 
 
 
It's true you & I have been married for 7 years,
 although a good man is a far cry from what you've been.
 
 
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your
 constant whining & griping. Too bad, that doesn't
 work. 

 I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st
 thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a
 girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if
 you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And
 when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me
 confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7
 years ago. 
 
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because
the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it
was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from
me that morning. 
 
 
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could
work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars,
I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when
I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I
guess. 
 
 
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My
lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't
get a penny from me. 
 
 
So take care. 
 
 
Signed, 
 
 
Your, Ex-Wife, 
Rich As Hell & Free! 
 
 
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my
sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a
problem!!! 
 
 

Sample Resignation Letter

A change in job is an important time in one's career. While you may have written a great acceptance letter to your future employer stating your intent to join, it's equally important to leave your current employer on a positive note.

Writing a professional resignation letter would ensure that people remember you when you leave and the employers keep their gates open, in case you decide to come back in the future.

Here are some things to keep in mind when composing a resignation letter.

State your intention clearly

There is no need for lengthy explanations, you can simply state that you are resigning from your position to pursue other interests or opportunities. Keep it brief, but respectful, and mark the letter to your direct supervisor with a copy to the Human Resource manager.

Mention things that you would want to negotiate

Your resignation letter should provide a structure for your meeting with your boss. You can politely state what you deserve, such as a payout that was pending, vacation time, or any bonuses that were supposed to come your way.

Don't be overtly demanding, as you still have an exit interview to state your needs. 

List down your current projects and completion dates

Your boss may not know the details of all the projects you are currently working on. It is your responsibility to remind him of the same. Provide a list of projects and their expected dates of completion, if there are any tasks that may not get completed within your notice period, explain the backup plan that you have in mind. As far as possible, finish the job and don't leave projects half completed.

Offer to train your replacement

You could also recommend colleagues who can take up your responsibilities, to your boss.

Share resumes of qualified candidates or recommend a valued co-worker for your position.

Also, mention your willingness to put in a few extra hours to train your replacement. Proofread your letter for errors and save a copy for your reference before sending it out.

Farewell e-mails

By the time you finish serving your notice period, the word about your resignation would have spread around. So there is no need for sending out a sobbing e-mail, or one which boasts of your accomplishment.

Just 'thank everyone' for their support and provide your contact details (personal e-mail ID and phone number).

A sample letter:

Dear Mr Sharma,

I would like to resign from my job with immediate effect. I have taken this decision to pursue another opportunity that would act as a catalyst in my career.

I would be serving a one month notice starting tomorrow and would like to be relieved of my responsibilities by February 15, 2007. I would like to thank you for your support and insights that made my stint a great learning experience.

I am currently working on the following projects:

• Conducting market research for our proposed product -- slated to be completed by end of this week.
• Studying the sales trends for the last six months and providing a report -- slated to be completed by February 8.

I would like to discuss the following when we meet:

• My pending bonus for the current financial year.
• Vacation time and its adjustment with the notice period.

I would like to recommend a few team members for my position and would be happy to train and support my replacement.

Please let me know of a convenient time to meet and discuss the same.

Yours sincerely,
Amit Sharma
Designation & department

So, when you realise that it's time to say goodbye, do it in style and make a positive exit!

FAQ on Leave Travel Allowance

Basically, it is a monetary benefit that you get on the expenses you incur when you travel.

Here's to clearing your doubts.

1. On what basis can I claim LTA?

If you fulfill two criteria, you can do so:

i. You should have taken leave from your company 

ii. You should actually travel

You can either travel alone or with your family. However, if your family travels without you, no LTA can be claimed.

2. How often can I claim LTA?

Twice in the block of four calendar years. 

This block is not calculated with the start of your employment. The government defines these blocks. 

Presently the block is 2002-2005. Since it is the calendar year and not the financial year, it will be from January 1, 2002 to December 31, 2005.

3. What if I fail to avail of it?

In case you fail to do so, there is a carry over option. 

Let's say that in the block of four years, you never did claim any LTA.

You can do so in the first year of the next block of four years.

4. What is the proof of travel to avail of LTA?

According to rule 2B, you can produce an air, rail or any public transport ticket.

You can even submit the bills issued by the car rental company if you rent a vehicle.

However, the travel is applicable anywhere in India and not abroad. So an international air ticket will not hold.

5. Is LTA taxed?

You can receive LTA as either reimbursement or allowance.

Reimbursement

In case of LTA as reimbursement, it is not taxable.

Let's say your company offers an LTA of Rs 50,000. For proof of travel, you produce an air ticket of Rs 10,000.

In such a case, you can claim only Rs 10,000 as LTA and it will be exempt from tax.

Allowance

If you do not submit any proof of travel, you will get your LTA but will have to pay tax on it.

If you produce proof of travel, it will not be taxable to the extent your proof of travel is covered.

Let's say you are entitled to Rs 50,000 as LTA as part of your salary. Since you produced proof of travel as Rs 10,000, you will not be taxed on this amount. However you will be taxed on the net Rs 40,000 as per your income tax slab rate.

LTA is not a fringe benefit as the latter are benefits that are usually enjoyed collectively by the employees and cannot be attributed to individual employees.

6. Can both spouses claim LTA?

If both spouses are getting the LTA benefit in their places of work, they can both claim exemption on LTA from their employers and the benefit for four journeys in one block.

They do not have to take the precaution of not travelling twice during the same year.

Moreover, they can take the same family members or different ones as long as they stick to the definition of the members for this purpose.

Family includes spouse, children as well as dependent parents, brothers and sisters. In respect of children born on or after October 1, 1998, the exemption will be restricted only to two surviving children unless the birth after one child has resulted in multiple births (twins or triplets).

7. If I and my wife travel this year, can we both claim LTA simultaneously?

No. You cannot claim LTA twice for the same journey. If both of you take a holiday together and you claim LTA, she cannot.

8. If I am entitled to a particular amount as LTA, but my expenses are higher, can I claim more?

Say in the year 2005-06, you receive on Rs 8,000 as LTA, but spend Rs 50,000 on travel. You can claim exemption only to the tune of Rs 8,000.

20 Ways to Get Mentally Tough

20 Ways to Get Mentally Tough


1. When you face a setback, think of it as a defining moment that will lead to a future accomplishment.

2. When you encounter adversity, remember, the best don't just face adversity; they embrace it, knowing it's not a dead end but a detour to something greater and better.

3. When you face negative people, know that the key to life is to stay positive in the face of negativity, not in the absence of it. After all, everyone will have to overcome negativity to define themselves and create their success.

4. When you face the naysayer's, remember the people who believed in you and spoke positive words to you.

5. When you face critics, remember to tune them out and focus only on being the best you can be.

6. When you wake up in the morning, take a morning walk of gratitude and prayer. It will create a fertile mind ready for success.

7. When you fear, trust. Let your faith be greater than your doubt.

8. When you fail, find the lesson in it, and then recall a time when you have succeeded.

9. When you head into battle, visualize success.

10. When you are thinking about the past or worrying about the future, instead focus your energy on the present moment. The now is where your power is the greatest.

11. When you want to complain, instead identify a solution.

12. When your own self-doubt crowds your mind, weed it and replace it with positive thoughts and positive self-talk.

13. When you feel distracted, focus on your breathing, observe your surroundings, clear your mind, and get into The Zone. The Zone is not a random event. It can be created.

14. When you feel all is impossible, know that with God all things are possible.

15. When you feel alone, think of all the people who have helped you along the way and who love and support you now.

16. When you feel lost, pray for guidance.

17. When you are tired and drained, remember to never, never, never give up.. Finish Strong in everything you do.

18. When you feel like you can't do it, know that you can do all things through Him who gives you strength.

19. When you feel like your situation is beyond your control, pray and surrender. Focus on what you can control and let go of what you can't.

20. When you're in a high-pressure situation and the game is on the line, and everyone is watching you, remember to smile, have fun, and enjoy it. Life is short; you only live once. You have nothing to lose. Seize the moment.


If you think you can, you can.......

Five Foods for Better Sleep

Five Foods for Better
Sleep

By Monica Bhide, Natural
Solutions
If you âre among the estimated 65 percent of
Americans who have trouble sleeping at least a few nights a week, you âre
probably tired of hearing about all the possible culprits for your bedtime woes,
from too much caffeine and late-night TV to not enough exercise or unwind time
in the evenings.
While all of these factors certainly play a
role in your quality of shut-eye, there is one sleep saboteur that often goes
unrecognized even though it can have a profound effect on how soundly you
snoozeâ your diet.
In fact, food and sleep actually affect one
another: If you donât eat right, you lose sleep; and when youâre sleep-deprived,
your eating habits suffer, says Sally Kravich, a holistic nutritionist and
author of Vibrant Living: Creating Radiant Health and Longevity (SPK
Publications, 2003). âItâs the ultimate catch-22,â she says. âA lack of sleep
causes leptin, an appetite-regulating hormone, to crash, which causes you to eat
more,â she says. âNot only does eating more eventually lead to weight gain and
an increased risk of obesityâboth of which can affect how well you sleepâbut the
foods youâre most likely to reach for when youâre tired will keep you up at
night.â So whatâs an insomniac to do?
For starters, get clear about which foods
promote good shut-eye, and which have the potential to keep you up at night, and
adjust your diet accordingly.
Sleep-enhancing
foods
Whole grains.
Fiber-rich foods, such as brown rice and quinoa, do more than keep you full;
they contain large amounts of tryptophan, an essential amino acid that increases
the levels of serotonin (a feel-good neurotransmitter that calms the nervous
system) and melatonin (a sleep-inducing hormone secreted in response to
darkness) in the brain. Whatâs more, whole grains slowly nourish the body
throughout the night after you digest them, says Lauren Taylor, CTN, a
naturopath in Boulder, Colorado. That makes them an especially good choice for
anyone who wakes up hungry during the night. Whole-grain carbohydrates also have
a soothing effect. âCertain grains, like oats, act as natural relaxants and help
calm the nervous system,â says Taylor.
Legumes. The high
levels of B vitamins in legumes, such as black-eyed peas and lentils, also help
calm your nervous system, says Kravich. Adds Taylor: âLegumes can be a great
choice for an evening meal because they often replace animal protein, which can
cause sleep problems.â But legumes are not for everyone, warns Taylor. They can
be hard for some to digest. To know if you fall into this category, pay close
attention to how you feel after you eat them. If the legumes satisfy your hunger
without making you feel overly full or gassy, they could be a good addition to
your sleep-inducing arsenal. Have an upset stomach or feel sluggish after a meal
of legumes? Skip them altogether or eat them only in
moderation.
Herbal teas. Tempted
to have a glass of vino to unwind at night? Kravich recommends reaching for a
cup of tea instead, especially blends with chamomile, lavender, and mint.
âDrinking caffeine-free tea, particularly gentle herbal varieties, relaxes the
body, calms digestion, and soothes the stomach,â says Kravich. Taylor agrees,
but also says that the environment in which we eat potentially relaxing foods
can have a profound effect on our nervous system. âThat calming chamomile tea
isnât necessarily going to be so calming if you drink it while youâre on the
computer paying your bills at 10 oâclock at night,â says Taylor. Instead, take
your tea to a cozy spot where you can relax, smell the tea, and fully enjoy
drinking it. âUnwinding in the eveningâemptying outâthatâs whatâs important,â
says Taylor. âItâs a way of clearing your nervous system. If you havenât let go
of the dayâs activities, where is all that energy going to go? If it remains
pent up inside of you, itâs certainly going to affect your ability to
sleep.â
Fruit. Especially
high in sleep-inducing tryptophan, bananas, mangoes, and dates are also great
substitutes for higher-calorie desserts. âItâs all about changing your habits,â
says Kravich. âInstead of cutting out dessert completely, replace cake and
cookiesâwhich can keep you up at night because of their high sugar contentâwith
fruits that will satisfy your sweet tooth and help promote sleep. While fruits
do contain sugar, itâs naturalânot processedâand fruit also comes packed with
fiber.â Another benefit from fruits: their high antioxidant content. âThink of
nighttime as clean-up time for the body,â says Taylor. âIf you go into the
evening having just eaten foods that are cleansing and detoxifying, youâre
helping that clean-up cycle. Vegetables and fruit are the most detoxifying foods
you can eat.â
Soups and stews.
Adding sleep-inducing foods to your diet will certainly help you get your beauty
rest, but you should also pay attention to how you prepare them. âCooking
sleep-inducing foods at low temperatures for long periods of time is ideal,â
says Taylor. âSoups and stewsâparticularly those filled with fiber-rich veggies
and legumesâand low-fat casseroles are much more calming and relaxing than
seared meats and hot, spicy foods because when you cook something for a long
time, the cooking process acts almost like our own digestive system,â says
Taylor. Long cooking times break down the starches and sugars in foods, so your
body doesnât have to work very hard to access their nutrients.
Next: Five foods to avoid for a good nightâs
sleep
Sleep sappers
Fatty, high-protein
foods. We all know how important it is for good heart health to ease up
on saturated animal fats, but doing so can also help the state of your adrenal
glandsâimportant not only for good sleep but also for your overall health. Red
meat contains high levels of the amino acid tyrosine, which causes the adrenal
glands to pump cortisol through your body. This hormone is part of the
fight-or-flight reaction that prepares us to face or run away from dangerâand
certainly puts us in a heightened state thatâs hardly conducive to falling and
staying asleep. âUnder normal circumstances, your adrenal activity is at its
highest when you wake up and then descends throughout the day so itâs at its
lowest ebb before you go to sleep,â says Taylor. âTo promote good sleep, you
need to support this adrenal rhythm with the foods you eat.â And for most that
means turning the typical American diet upside down. Because high-protein foods
stimulate the body, eat them in the morning and at midday, suggests Taylor. For
dinner, steer clear of meats and other high-protein foods that will spike your
adrenal glands and opt for vegetables and plant-based sources of protein
instead.
Caffeine. While you
may think that morning cup of joe or two wonât interfere with your ability to
wind down later in the day, think again. Caffeine is a powerful stimulant that
affects the central nervous system. Although most doctors say it takes between
four and seven cups of regular coffee a day to hinder sleep, caffeineâlike red
meatârevs the body up. âCaffeine can overstimulate the adrenals, which actually
compounds fatigue as it wears off,â says Kravich. If you must have your morning
cup, eat something nutritious with it and add milk or soy milk to dull the
negative effects of the caffeine.
High-sugar, empty-calorie
sweets. âThink of cakes and cookies as the other end of the spectrum
from whole grains,â says Taylor. âSweets give you quick energy followed by a
crash,â she says. âBecause the energy you get from sweets isnât long and
sustained, odds are youâll wake up because youâre hungry.â Instead of typical
desserts, opt for fruit or even some healthy fats and whole grains, such as a
quarter of an avocado spread on whole grain toast. âHealthy fats are satisfying,
and they calm the nervous system,â says Taylor.
Cold foods. Even
during the hot summer months when you might be craving cold foods, such as
salads, smoothies, and ice cream, do keep in mind that theyâre not necessarily
the best for promoting sleep, says Taylor. âWhen you eat cold foods, your body
has to work hard to bring the foodâs temperature up to your body temp,â she
says. âIf the food has been cooked, your body doesnât have to spend as much
energy breaking down the food, which is ideal for evening meals when the goal is
to help your body unwind and work less.â Instead of a cold salad, for example,
steam veggies and eat them at room temperature with a good olive oil drizzled on
top.
Monica Bhide is a Dunn Loring,
Virginia based food writer whose work has appeared in The New York
Times, The Washington Post, and Food & Wine. Her book,
Modern Spice: Inspired Indian Flavors for the Contemporary Kitchen, was
released this month by Simon & Schuster.

Amplifying the Energy !!!

Amplifying the Energy of the Chakras Chakras are the subtle energy centers of the body. The ancient Indian Yogis understood the nature of the subtle energy which drives all biological function. They called these centers Chakras? which literally means wheels.? Those who see energy often perceive the chakras as spinning with a wheel-like appearance. This energy is most commonly referred to as chi or prana and it is the animating force behind all living things. Physiologists who search for a purely physical explanation of all biological activity are on a fools quest, like a man dissecting a piano in order to find the concerto hidden inside. The mystery is vast. Somewhat like Dr. Abraham Maslows Hierarchy of Needs? which moves from survival, to sex, to emotional well-being, etc., the chakras have a similar hierarchy. The first chakra at the base of the spine vibrates with the energy of safety and security. The second chakra across from the genitals holds the energy of sex, procreation and creativity. The third chakra at the solar plexus carries the energy of emotional expression. The fourth chakra at the heart vibrates love. The fifth chakra is at the throat and holds the energy of communication. The sixth chakra is at the third eye? between the brows and holds energy for insight, awareness and wisdom. The seventh chakra is at the crown of the head and and helps us open to our spirituality. Most people who are familiar with the chakras do not realize that you can activate and amplify the energy of the chakras to assist yourself and others for the purpose of healing. Since energy follows thought, when you put your attention into the chakras, you are also bringing energy there. Since breath carries the life-force energy, breathing may also amplify the energy. When you have learned to link powerful body awareness exercises with focused breathing, and vortex the chakras, the energy you generate becomes remarkable.

Never lick an Envelope

Never lick an Envelope     CAUTION   One day a girl licked the envelopes and postage stamps instead of using a sponge. That very day the lady found a cut on her tongue. A week later, she noticed an abnormal swelling of her tongue. She went to the doctor, and they found nothing wrong. Her tongue was not sore or anything. A couple of days later, her tongue started to swell more, and it began to get really sore, so sore, that she could not eat. She went back to the hospital, and demanded something be done. The doctor took an x-ray of her tongue and noticed a lump. He prepared her for minor surgery. When the doctor cut her tongue open, a live cockroach crawled out!!!! There were cockroach eggs on the seal of the envelope. The egg was able to hatch inside of her tongue, because of her saliva. It was warm and moist... This is a true story reported on CNN. Andy Hume wrote: Hey, I used to work in an envelope factory. You wouldn't believe the....things that float around in those gum applicator trays. I haven't licked an envelope for years!" I used to work for a print shop (32 years ago) and we were told NEVER to lick the envelopes. I never understood why until I had to go into storage and pull out 2500 envelopes that were already printed and saw several squads of cockroaches roaming around inside a couple of boxes with eggs everywhere. They eat the glue on the envelopes. PLEASE PASS THIS INFO TO YOUR FRIENDS. After reading this you will never lick another envelope or stamp.

Lawyer Joke

One afternoon a wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.
 

Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man 'Why are you eating grass?


'We don't have any money for food,' the poor man replied. 'We have to eat grass.


'Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you', the lawyer said.


'But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree.


Bring them along,' the lawyer replied.


Turning to the other poor man he stated, 'You come with us also.


The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, 'But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!


'Bring them all, as well,' the lawyer answered.

 

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was..

 

 Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, 'Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.

 





The lawyer replied, 'Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost 1 meter high!

US Finance Humor

Some humor before the markets open!!

1. The US has made a new weapon that destroys people but keeps the
building standing,. Its called the stock market - Jay Leno

2. Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are?? Wall Street is now
being called Wal Mart Street - Jay Leno

3. The difference between a pigeon and a London investment banker. The
pigeon can still make a deposit on a BMW

4. What's the difference between a guy who lost everything in Las
Vegas and an investment banker? A tie!

5. The problem with investment bank balance sheet is that on the left
side nothing's right and on the right side nothing's left.

6. I want to warn people from Nigeria who might be watching our show,
if you get any emails from Washington asking for money, it's a scam.
Don't fall for it - Jay Leno

7. Bush was asked about the credit crunch. He said it was his
favourite candy bar - Jay Leno

8. The rescue bill was about 450 pages. President Bush's copy is even
thicker. They had to include pictures - Jay Leno

9. President Bush's response was to meet some small business owners in
San Antonio last week. The small business owners are General Motors,
General Electric and Century 21 - Jay Leno

10. What worries me most about the credit crunch, is that if one of my
cheques is returned stamped 'insufficient funds'. I won't know
whether that refers to mine or the bank's

Why Husbands like to remain silent!

 
A conversation between husband and wife:
 
 
 

WIFE: 'What would you do if I died? Would you get married again? HUSBAND: 'Definitely not! WIFE: 'Why not? Don't you like being married?' HUSBAND: 'Of course I do. WIFE: 'Then why wouldn't you remarry? HUSBAND: 'Okay, okay, I'd get married again.' WIFE: 'You would?' HUSBAND: .......? WIFE: 'Would you live in our house?' HUSBAND: 'Sure, it's a great house.' WIFE: 'Would you sleep with her in our bed?' HUSBAND: 'Where else would we sleep?' WIFE: 'Would you let her drive my car?' HUSBAND: 'Probably, it is almost new.' WIFE: 'Would you replace my pictures with hers?' HUSBAND: 'That would seem like the proper thing to do.' WIFE: 'Would you give her my jewelry?' HUSBAND: 'No, I'm sure she'd want her own.' WIFE: 'Would she wear my shoes' HUSBAND: 'No, her size is 6.' WIFE: -- silence - HUSBAND: 'shit.

Abortion in the ears.....Brilliant!

This is a short story written by Dr Kishore Shah.... he is a gynaecologist in Pune and a very gifted writer....enjoy this extremely funny story. My wife is an ENT Surgeon while I am a Gynaecologist. This can lead to some complications, as I recently learned to my anguish. A General Practitioner called me up and told me that she is sending a patient of hers for an abortion. Unknown to me, she had also referred a female with earwax for removal of the wax to my wife. I duly informed the receptionist to send the patient right in as she was expected (and expecting!) As Murphy lays down the laws of our hospital, it was but natural that the patient who wanted the wax removed from her ear, landed up with me. This is the conversation that I had with the patient. "Please come in. Be seated." I said with a big smile. I always have a big smile, when I am going to earn some money. The patient gave a feeble smile and sat hesitantly on the edge of the chair. "Relax." "Doctor, will this hurt a lot?" "Not at all." The patient relaxed visibly. "You know something, Doctor, we tried removing it at home, but failed." I was shocked. "Thank God. Trying this at home can cause serious complications." "I first tried to remove it by jumping up and down, but it just wouldn't budge." I smiled and said, "If it were that easy, who would need doctors?" She gave a cute smile and said, "Yeah! My neighbour tried to remove it with his finger, but the hole is so small that he used a hair pin." "Oh my God!" "Yes! My mother even tried a matchstick." My blood pressure was shooting skywards. I just sputtered without uttering a word. "Tell me, doctor, how do I avoid getting this dirt inside me?" I knew that it was an unwanted pregnancy, but calling it dirt was too much. I replied a bit angrily, "There are tablets which can prevent this happening. Or you could use protection at night." Now it was the patient's turn to be confused, "You mean to say that it happens only at night?" I saw her point.. "No! No! I meant anytime of the day, whenever you are in the mood, you should use protection." She was even more confused, "It depends on my moods?" Again I saw her point.. "My mistake. You need not be in any sort of mood. It just happens." "My neighbour advised me to go to one of those chaps who sit by the roadside." "You mean that pin man?" "Yeah!" This neighbour of hers seemed to be a very dangerous man. Besides using pins, he was sending her to such quacks. The only safety he knew was among the pins. "You were wise not to heed his advice." "But I tried his other advice. He told me to put warm oil inside and wait. However, that also did not work." This was getting more and more bizarre. Her neighbour deserved to be locked up either in a padded cell or a barred one. "But have you taken your husband's permission?" Now the patient looked confused. "Do I have to take my husband's permission? Because if you need his sign, he is working in Dubai . We were not able to meet for the last one year." It was my turn to be shocked.. I gave a sly smirk. It was one of 'those' cases. The pin-wielding neighbour seemed to me the usual suspect. I reassured her. "No! No! The husband's sign is not at all needed." "However, I did inform him on phone." Her husband seemed to me a very broad-minded fellow. I didn't know whether to congratulate her or to commiserate with her. So I hastily turned to other aspects. "Its good that you came a bit early." "Actually I wanted to come early in the morning, but I had some other work." "Oh! I did not mean early today. I meant that if you had delayed this removal, it would have started moving. Then it would have developed a heartbeat." The patient was staring at me wide eyed as if watching a horror movie. Looking at her face, I decided that she was not fit to listen to the grotesque details. I decided to relieve her a bit. I said, "You will bleed a bit, but only for a few days." By now, the poor patient was trembling, "how-H-How much bleeding?" "Oh, only slightly more than your menstrual period, and it will continue only for a week or so." By now the patient was clutching her hair in her fingers and staring at me wide-eyed. I asked her soothingly, "Why don't you lie down on the examination table? Remove your clothes and relax." This was the final straw. She didn't even wish me goodbye. I saw just a blur of motion leaving my consulting room at top speed.

20 years - Husband and Wife

> A woman awakes during the night to find that
> her husband was not in their bed.
>
> She puts on her dressing gown and goes downstairs to look
> for him.
>
> She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup
> of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought,
> just staring at the wall.
>
>
> She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip
> of his coffee.
>
> 'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she
> steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time
> of night?'
>
>
> The husband looks up from his coffee, 'I am just
> remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started
> dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?' he
> says solemnly.
>
> The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is
> so caring, so sensitive.
>
>
> 'Yes, I do' she replies.
>
> The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily.
>
> 'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back
> seat of my car?'
>
> 'Yes, I remember!' said the wife, lowering herself
> into a chair beside him.
>
>
> The husband continues. 'Do you remember when he shoved
> the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my
> daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?'
>
> 'I remember that too' she replies softly.
>
>
> He wipes another tear from his cheek and says...
>
> I would have been released today !!!!

Love letter of kids !!!!!! Hilarious one !!!!!!!!!!!!

 

                Evergreen Lovers

.............................................................................................

To ,
    Tintumol
   UKG A.

Dear Tintumol,

I love you.  My dream I see you.  Everywhere you.  You no, I live no.
I come red shirt 2morrow.  You love I, you come red frock.  I wait down
mango tree.  You no come, i jump train.  Sure come...

yours lovely,

Tutumon
Std 1 B


.............................................................................................
Reply....by Tintumol....

Darling, your letter mama see.  Papa beat me beat me so many beat me.
I cry. i cry.  So no come to mango tree.  No jump train.  I love you.
See another day.  I no red frock.  Only green.  

You love me, you love me you green shirt.  Give I gift.  I see you with pinkumol.
Where you go..  NO talk to her.  Okay My dream also only you


Lovely
Tintumol...

 

 

How to play Blackjack

Blackjack, also known as Twenty-one, Vingt-et-un (French for Twenty-one), or Pontoon, is the most widely played casino banking game in the world.[1] The basic rules of the game involve adding the value of an initial two card hand in hopes of being dealt a value of twenty-one. If a value of less than twenty-one is dealt, the player may choose to be dealt single cards until they either: reach a value of twenty one, reach a value they feel comfortable to play, or reach a value that exceeds twenty-one. The winner holds a hand with a value of, or nearest to, twenty-one without exceeding it. The game is played in many variations at casinos with different table rules. Much of Blackjack's popularity is due to the mix of chance, skill, and the publicity that surrounds card counting (calculating the probability of advantages based on the ratio of high cards to low cards). The casino version of the game should not be confused with the British card game Black Jack (a variant of Crazy Eights).

History

Blackjack's precursor was "twenty-one," a game of unknown origin. The first written reference is to be found in a book of Miguel de Cervantes, the author of Don Quixote, and a gambler himself. The main characters of his tale "Rinconete y Cortadillo", from "Novelas Ejemplares", are a couple of cheaters working in Seville. They are proficient at cheating at "veintiuna" (Spanish for twenty-one), and stated that the object of the game is to reach 21 points without busting, and that the Ace values 1 or 11. The game is played with Baraja, that is without tens, which makes the game similar to the current Spanish 21. This short story was written between 1601 and 1602, so the game was played in Castilia since the beginning of the 17th Century or even earlier. Later references of this game are to be found in France and Spain.[2]

When 21 was introduced in the United States it was not very popular, so gambling houses tried offering various bonus payouts to get the players to the tables. One such bonus was a 10-to-1 payout if the player's hand consisted of the ace of spades and a black Jack (either the Jack of clubs or the Jack of spades). This hand was called a "blackjack" and the name stuck to the game, even though the bonus payout was soon abolished. In the modern game, a "natural" or "blackjack" is simply an ace plus a ten-value card.

Rules of play against a casino

In casino blackjack,[clarification needed] the dealer faces one to seven players from behind a kidney-shaped table. Each player plays his hand independently against the dealer. At the beginning of each round, the player places a bet in the "betting box" and receives an initial hand of two cards. The object of the game is to get a higher card total than the dealer, but without going over 21 which is called "busting", "breaking", or many other terms. (The spot cards count 2 to 9; the 10, jack, queen, and king count as ten; an ace can be either 1 or 11 at the player's choice). The player goes first and plays his hand by taking additional cards if he desires. If he busts, he loses. Then the dealer plays his or her hand. If the dealer busts, he loses to all remaining players. If neither busts, the higher hand total wins. In case of a tie, no one wins - the hand is a "push" and all bets are returned.[clarification needed] It is possible for the dealer to lose to some players but still beat other players in the same round.

Cards are dealt in three ways, either from one or two hand-held decks, from a box containing four to eight decks called a "shoe," or from a shuffling machine. When dealt by hand, the player's two initial cards are face-down, while the dealer has one face-up card called the "upcard" and one face-down card called the "hole card." (In European blackjack, the dealer's hole card is not actually dealt until the players all play their hands.) When dealt from a shoe, all player cards are normally dealt face-up, with minor exceptions. It shouldn't matter to the player whether his cards are dealt face-down or face-up since the dealer must play according to predetermined rules. If the dealer has less than 17, he must hit. If the dealer has 17 or more, he must stand (take no more cards), unless it is a "soft 17" (a hand that includes an ace valued as "11," for example a hand consisting of Ace+6, or Ace+2+4). With a soft 17, the dealer follows the casino rules printed on the blackjack table, either to "hit soft 17" or to "stand on all 17's."

The highest possible hand is a "blackjack" or "natural," meaning an initial two-card total of 21 (an ace and a ten-value card). A player blackjack is an automatic winner unless the dealer also has blackjack, in which case the hand is a "push" (a tie). When the dealer upcard is an ace, the player is allowed to make a side bet called "insurance," supposedly to guard against the risk that the dealer has a blackjack (i.e., a ten-value card as his hole card). The insurance bet pays 2-to-1 if the dealer has a blackjack. Whenever the dealer has a blackjack, he wins against all player hands except those that also have a blackjack (which are a "push").

The minimum and maximum bets are posted on the table. The payoff on most bets is 1:1, meaning that the player wins the same amount as he bets. The payoff for a player blackjack is 3:2, meaning that the casino pays $3 for each $2 originally bet. (There are many single-deck games which pay only 6:5 for a blackjack.)

Player decisions

After receiving his initial two cards, the player has four standard options: he can "Hit," "Stand," "Double Down," or "Split a pair." Each option requires the use of a hand signal. At some casinos or tables, the player may have a fifth option called "Surrender."

    * Hit: Take another card.

         signal: (handheld) scrape cards against table; (face up) touch finger to table or wave hand toward himself

    * Stand: Take no more cards, also "stick" or "stay".

         signal: (handheld) slide cards under bet; (face up) wave hand horizontally

    * Double down: After receiving his first two cards and before any more are dealt to him, a player has the option to "double down". To "double down" means the player is allowed to double his initial bet in exchange for limiting himself to getting only one more card from the dealer. The hand played consists of his original two cards plus one more from the dealer. To do this he moves a second bet equal to the first into the betting box next to his original bet. (If desired, the player is usually allowed to "double down for less," although this is generally not a good idea as the player should only double in favorable situations but should then increase the bet as much as possible.)

         signal: place additional chips next to (not on top of) original bet

    * Split a pair: If his first two cards are a "pair," meaning two cards of the same value, the player can "split the pair." To do this, he moves a second bet equal to the first into the betting box next to his original bet. The dealer splits the cards to create two hands, placing one bet with each hand. The player then plays two separate hands.

         signal: place additional chips next to (not on top of) original bet.

    * Surrender: Some casinos offer a fifth option called "Surrender." After the dealer has checked for blackjack, the player may "surrender" by giving up half his bet and not playing out the hand.

         signal: There is no commonly accepted hand signal; it is just done verbally.

The reason for requiring hand signals is to assist the "eye in the sky," a person or video camera located above the table but concealed behind one-way glass. It is used in order to protect the casino against dealers or players who cheat. (It may also be used to protect the casino against card-counters, even though card-counting is not illegal.)

The player can take as many hits as he wants as long as the total is not above hard-20. However, if he busts, he loses that hand. After all the players have finished making their decisions, the dealer then reveals his hole card and plays out his or her hand according to predetermined rules.

NHCP IPO Allotment

NHPC, a large hydro-power generation company and government owned entity, has fixed the issue price of Rs 36, at higher end of the price band. The company garnered Rs 6,038.55 crore from the issue; out of which, the government received Rs 2,012.85 crore and that will be used for infrastructure projects. The rest of the amount i.e. Rs 4,025.7 crore, the company will use for its power projects.

Shares of NHPC are expected to be listed by the first week of September, merchant bankers to the issue said.

Basis of Allotment

Under Subscription under Employee quota have been allocated to QIB/HNI/Retail in 60:10:30 ratio)

It had launched its initial public offering (IPO) of 1,67,73,74,015 equity shares
of Rs 10 each with a price band of Rs 30-36 per equity share. It opened during
August 7 and August 12, 2009. The issue received overwhelming response
from all categories of investors and was subscribed 23.74 times.

Qualified institutional investors (QIBs) were the major supportive investors with
their portion being subscribed 29.16 times. Non-institutional and retail investors'
portion subscribed 26.7 times and 3.87 times, respectively.

The issue constituted 13.64% of the post-issue capital of NHPC. After the issue, the shareholding of the President of India shall be approximately 86.36% of the post-issue paid-up equity share capital of the company.

The proceeds of the fresh issue (after deducting the proportionate
underwriting and issue management fees, selling commissions and other expenses
associated with the fresh issue) will be used to part finance the construction
and development costs of certain of projects, namely, Subansiri Lower, Uri II,
Chamera - III, Parbati III, Nimoo Bazgo, Chutak, and Teesta Low Dam - IV.

Nokia 5230 price in india

New Delhi: Nokia has decided to revise its strategy for the rapidly growing smartphone market in order to gain back the market share it has been losing in the segment over the last year. Under the new plan, the company will add value to a host of newly launched high-end products, with services such as messaging, a music store and maps.

The company, which remains strong in the low-end volume market, has launched a number of smartphones in the last six months. These include the N97, N86, E75, 6700 and 6208. On Tuesday, it also announced two new touchphones, the 5230 and 5530, both at a very competitive price point of around Rs 10,000.

"We have a different approach. We want to be the leaders in all price segments," said Tuula Rytila-Uotila, Vice-President, Category Management, Live Category, while speaking to Business Line.

New services

Nokia has also said that it is launching many new services to go with its smartphones. This includes the Music Store, to be launched on Wednesday, besides a messaging service, Nokia Maps, and various applications under the Ovi platform.

"Our focus for the coming year will be to scale up with our services offering such as the Ovistore. Consumers in India want to do a lot with their phone and we want to bring them choice," said Ms Rytila-Uotila.

The Finnish company, a market leader in the Indian mobile phone industry, has been losing market share in the smartphone segment to newer players such as Apple and Research In Motion (RIM). While Apple's iPhone competes with Nokia's N-series and XpressMusic phones, RIM's BlackBerry, a business phone, is a direct competitor to Nokia's E-Series.

Market share

According to Gartner, the global market share in smartphone sales for Nokia had fallen 16.8 per cent in the fourth quarter of calendar year 2008 at 40.8 per cent from 50.9 per cent in the same period in calendar year 2007. In the same period, the market share for Apple rose 111.6 per cent to 10.7 per cent of the market, while RIM increased its share 84.9 per cent to 19.5 per cent of the total pie.

On a year-to-year basis, Nokia grew by only 0.8 per cent from 2007 to 2008, while Apple grew by 245.7 per cent and RIM rose by 96.7 per cent. However, Nokia remained the overall market leader with a 43.8 per cent share of the pie in 2008, down from 49.4 per cent in 2007.

In order to target the fast converging world of computers and smartphones, Nokia has also announced its foray into the netbook market.

Nokia aims for global mass market appeal with 3G-capable, Ovi-friendly Nokia 5230.

Nokia today launched their broadest effort yet at capturing some of the burgeoning tablet phone market. The Nokia 5230 looks remarkably like a Nokia 5800 XpressMusic phone, and it has many of the same advanced features. But the new Nokia 5230 will start at only 150 Euros, around $215. That's a great starting price that will make this phone free on most subsidized carriers, and within reach for unlockers. But the phone doesn't skimp on features. The Nokia 5230 still features fast, 3G networking via HSDPA networks, and enough extra features to confuse this device with a higher-end Nokia smartphone.

In fact, the Nokia 5230 runs Nokia's Symbian S60 5th Edition OS, so it is technically a smartphone, but Nokia might as well start calling these devices "Ovi" phones, since it relies so heavily on Nokia's Ovi cloud based services. The Nokia 5230 features A-GPS, and will use Ovi Maps for navigation as well as aerial views and other location services. For more location-based apps, users can browse the Ovi Store, an over-the-air application store that Nokia offers on their smartphone devices.

Even without the XpressMusic branding, the Nokia 5230 should be a capable media player. The device will have access to the Nokia music store, and in select markets this will even be a Nokia Comes With Music phone, for some all-you-can-eat music downloads. You don't get the external playback controls we like on XpressMusic devices, but the Nokia 5230 still features a standard 3.5mm headphone jack to listen to tunes on your own earbuds. The device will also accept microSD cards up to 16GB, though no internal memory will be included beyond a few measly megabytes. Nokia also includes a Media Bar interface to make jumping into music all the quicker.

Of course, beyond the lack of internal memory, there are other clues that this is a low-end device. The camera is a simpler 2-megapixel shooter, a seriously low-level tech for the likes of Nokia. The screen is a still-impressive 3.2-inch display, the same size as the Nokia 5800. Nokia is also bragging about impressive battery life, at least during music playback. If you used the Nokia 5230 as a music player only, you could listen for 33 hours.

The Nokia 5230 is expected to become available in the 4th quarter of this year. Besides the low price (in Euros), the fact that official releases came out of New Delhi, India, as well as Finland tells us that we won't be seeing this phone on the U.S. market for a little while. This looks to be an emerging market device, and for those markets it should offer a nice mix of high-end, 3G features at a reasonable price.

Beware of laptop stealing from car

Hi,
This is to bring to your notice that driving car with laptop in
front or back seat is not safe any more in Bangalore, especially if
you plan to get down for small shopping of fruits /vegitables etc. I
had experience this yesterday near Marathahalli junction( opposite to
Safal) at 5:45PM . Please take a minute to read this and accordingly
take preventive measures.

I had kept my laptop in the front left seat of the car and
stopped near Marathahalli junction to buy some fruits. There were 2
folks who came to help me parking the vehicle as is usually the case
at that place. Then they asked me to shift the vehicle little bit so
as to avoid some inconvenience to other vehicles on the way. I had no
idea at that time that my car was being monitored minutely during that
time. I parked and locked my car and went out to buy some fruits from
nearby roadside "Thela" shops and came back . Then started back
towards kundanahalli gate. After driving around 15-20 meters, I saw
some one suddenly came in my way and I had to apply brakes and
immediately another person came to the driver side gate and started
knocking the door glass with lot of force. His expressions were such
that either I had hit someone or I was about to hit someone . I
decided to stop the car. As soon as I stopped the engine, all the
doors of the cars opened ( Autocop feature) and the moment I came out
of the car, this person started showing me some money near the right
tyre(back side) of the car saying that this was mine. My initial
reaction was to turn down and by the time I touched 1 -10Rs note, I
realized (may be within 5-10 sec) that this couldn't be mine as I have
already driven 15-20m and immediately I turned around to check my
laptop which was already missing by that time from the other door of
the car. I again turned around to see this person who knocked the door
and couldn't find him either. I then saw 2 person wearing exactly same
type of dress running in 2 opposite directions(with none of them
having laptop!!) and some one shouting that the thief ran towards the
bridge side( the same direction one of them was running). Without
thinking much I locked the car and moved to the bridge side and found
that this person stopped peacefully after running for 50-75m with
nothing in his hands. I again turned back and found nothing on the
other side also!!!!.
The story does not end here. After this some one came to
me and said that you have parked your car in no parking area , so
please park in proper place and call Marathahalli traffic signal
policeman for help. I found his adivice useful and parked the car in
the corner nearby ( was bit surprised though by seeing a good parking
immediately) . Then I started calling 100 while walking to approach
Marathahalli traffic police( what a blunder- traffic police will never
help in criminal cases). Thanks to an old person aged (55-60 yrs) who
stopped me and said that someone was tempering with my car door. I
immediately ran and somehow managed to reach before someone could
break into the car. The person as expected again ran away before I
reached. Then I found car was ok except few minor dashes here and
there due to car breaking attempt. After that I drove back and
parked the car more near to the junction and went to traffic police
who directly asked me to call 100 which I was any way continuously
trying since I found laptop bag was missing.

I have informed this incident to the police, however I am
still trying to get FIR registered for the case. Police told that
this is some 7th laptop stealing case in last 2-3 weeks. There are
other similar stories as per police in other parts of the city "like
some one on bike came and hit the car and started arguing and in the
mean time some other person took away the laptop" etc etc.

Any ways -

The moral of the story - "Please avoid carrying laptop in the car seat"

Donkey Mathematics--classic!!

This is a classic !!!!!

Equation 1

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Human = Donkey + work + enjoy
Therefore,
Human - enjoy = Donkey + work

In other words,
Human that don't know how to enjoy = Donkey that work


Equation 2
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Men = Donkeys + earn money
Therefore,
Men - earn money = Donkeys

In other words,
Men that don't earn money = Donkeys


Equation 3
Women = eat + sleep + spend
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Women = Donkeys + spend
Therefore,
Women - spend = Donkeys

In other words,
Women that don't spend = Donkeys


To Conclude
>From Equation 2 and Equation 3
Men that don't earn money = Women that don't spend.

So, Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys! (Postulate 1) And,
Women spend not to let men become Donkeys! (Postulate 2)

So, we have
Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + spend money

Therefore from Postulates 1 and 2, we conclude Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys
that live happily together....

Last Evacuation Drill

Management at Innovative Best !!!!

XYZ Office -> A fire alarm rang at 6 PM when almost all shift employees
are in office(approx 5000). As usual entire office was evacuated within
3 mins & every employee gathered outside office. 10 mins
passed..................................5 more mins passed. ....

Security Officer -> Announcement started, "Dear Employees - With melting
heart I am making this announcement that for many of you it will be a
last evacuation drill, as we are laying off almost 80% employee. While
moving in who-so-ever ID card won't work are lay off & all their
belongings will be couriered to them tomorrow. We followed this
approach as we don't want to fill email box size with layoff mail in
thousands & also to avoid any fight inside office". Hope you have nice
career ahead. Please move in & try your luck.

Service provided by "108" EMRI

Call 108 if there is any accident & Medical Emergency in INDIA :

http://www.emri.in/

I am sharing my personal experience with " 108 " (EMRI) on their Quick response.

When I travel from Pondicherry to Coimbatore last Sunday (02-08-09)
night by Bus, the bus met an accident with lorry in National Highway
nearby "Atthur" Landmark: "Paaventhar college of Arts and Science".

Two of my co-passenger got injured.

One is lady and second is her baby of 15months old.

The lady had an injury in her hand and the baby was motionless. The
First-Aid kit is also missing in the bus.

The accident happened at mid-night 00:57am .

On seeing the condition of the baby and mother, I immediately called
108 at 00:59am . Explained the state of injured persons and location
of the place, Village, District & Taluk (assisted by a local person).
It took around 3minutes.

At 01:03am (within a minute) I got a call from 108 with a conference
to the district level center explained the exact location and
condition of the persons injured. It took around 3minutes.

At 01:08am again I got a call from the Ambulance saying that they are
on the way to accident spot.

To be surprise, the Ambulance reached the spot at 01:17am and started
the treatment. The baby was brought to the active state (may be due to
timely attempt by 108-EMRI) and medicines given for injured lady. At
the end of their treatment both of them came to normal.

The EMRI 108 Ambulance reached the spot within 15minutes from the
receipt of information to them

Here I would like express one thing that except me, none of the
co-passengers were not aware of 108.

As I am aware of 108 through training given for EMERGENCY EVACUATION
DRILL conducted in June '09, I could help the co-passengers.

Kindly share this experience, so that the people can make use of
wonderful service provided by EMRI - "108" in TamilNadu .

Dr. Purohit's article on Swine flu : The facts ........ no panic

I agree with you that swine flu awareness is needed, but there is no need to be panicky and join the publicity propaganda carried out by media and others which acts as a vehicle to spread misconception than to spread scientific information.

These are few facts about swine flu when discussed with the leading epidemiologists.

1) Swine flu, that is H1N1 flu is not new, first detected in 1987
2) Infective stage of flue is 5 days, 1 day before and 4 days after onset of symptoms
3) The best way to prevent it spreading is asking patient having symptoms of flu like fever cough and running nose to take rest at home for 4 days so he does not transmit it
4) Masks are of limited value if any, in this disease, it can spread through droplets on your skin, through contact etc, and I have seen that the masks in Pune are worn as fashion statement, while walking on road today morning I saw people wearing masks coming out for a morning walk with their dogs!, many wearing masks around their necks, and so on, infact these masks shall act as the vehicles to carry the virus, instead, avoiding crowded places or cinema halls or malls where air conditioners are on, is advisable, because you get recirculated air, where the virus density multiplies
5)Death after H1N1 flu is not common, infact infections like measles is taking toll of thousands more every year, and we are oblivious of the facts. Swine flu is being blown out of proportion by media trying to create hysteria among lay people.
6) Fever accompanied by respiratory distress, should be immediately notified which is likely to be a complication of H1N1 flu
7)The mortality is less than .01 percent of those affected, that means may be one in 10,000 affected is likely to suffer the life loss.
8) If you remember, 2 years ago SARS was blown out of proportion, what happened? Humans develop immunity to the virus, the same is going to happen, we develop immunity in due course of time, the virus is in the air, you can not stop it, our body is already developing the immunity so nothing to panic.
We need to take care of children and elderly who have less immunity and do not let them go to crowded places that is all .

WE MUST START THIS CAMPAIGN OF NOT TO BE AFRAID OF THIS FLU AND LET YOUR DAILY WORK CONTINUE AS NORMAL, NO MASKS FOR ORDINARY CITIZENS, HEALTH CARE WORKERS OR SPECIFIC EXPOSED TO LOT OF CROWDED ENVIRONMENTS MAY BE BENEFITTED, NOT PROVEN.

I am amazed to hear that people are selling masks of RS 20 each which are available to less than Rupee 1 in the market.
See who is getting benefitted?

Please spread the scientific info, do not join the band wagon and stick to science, that should be the order of the day.

Tulasi May Keep Swine Flu AWAY

One of the preventive measures against Swine Flu

Use “Nilgiri Oil” (Eucalyptus oil) drops on handkerchiefs and masks as one of the preventive measures against Swine Flu (NIV) National Institute of Virology.

Please share this valuable information with your friends.

Not just Tulasi, Vitamin C rich substances are known to boost immunity. So taking hot Lemon or Amla (Indian Gooseberry) powder mixed with hot water would be very helpful.

Tulsi can help keep swine flu away: Ayurvedic experts

Lucknow, May 27: Wonder herb Tulsi can not only keep the dreaded swine flu at bay but also help in fast recovery of an afflicted person, Ayurvedic practitioners claim.

"The anti-flu property of Tulsi has been discovered by medical experts across the world quite recently. Tulsi improves the body's overall defence mechanism including its ability to fight viral diseases. It was successfully used in combating Japanese Encephalitis and the same theory applies to swine flu," Dr U K Tiwari, a herbal medicine practitioner says.

Apart from acting as a preventive medicine in case of swine flu, Tulsi can help the patient recover faster.

"Even when a person has already contracted swine flu, Tulsi can help in speeding up the recovery process and also help in strengthening the immune system of the body," he claims.

Dr Bhupesh Patel, a lecturer at Gujarat Ayurved University, Jamnagar is also of the view that Tulsi can play an important role in controlling swine flu.

"Tulsi can control swine flu and it should be taken in fresh form. Juice or paste of at least 20-25 medium sized leaves should be consumed twice a day on an empty stomach."

This increases the resistance of the body and, thereby, reduces the chances of inviting swine flu," believes Patel.

Bureau Report

A heart touching story

A 19 year old boy went to beer shop,



& asked how much a KING FISHER beer costs?



Waiter said Rs. 75



The boy started counting how much he had in his purse.



Then he asked how much a BOMBAY beer costs??



Waiter got irritated & said Rs. 72



The boy had a BOMBAY beer....



He paid bill and left.









When the waiter came to pick the empty bottle...,



He was touched........... !!



The boy had left Rs. 3 as tip for him........!!







Moral: Drunkards have big hearts!!

Why are wedding dresses white ??

IT MUST HAVE BEEN A VERY BRAVE MAN WHO WROTE THIS!

Son asked his mother the following question:
'Mum, why are wedding dresses white?' The mother looks at her son and replies, 'Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.'


The son thanks his Mum and goes off to double-check this with his father.
'Dad why are wedding dresses white?'
The father looks at his son in surprise and TAKES him on a walkabout, he shows him the fridge and asks him what is the colour, to which the son replies: ' WHITE '. He does the same for the dishwasher, the washing machine, the stove, etc etc. & nbsp;
Then he tells the son:'Son, all household appliances come in white.'

Father and Son - A Short Touching Story

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

SON: "Daddy, may I ask you a question?"

DAD: "Yeah sure, what is it?" replied the man.

SON: "Daddy, how much do you make an hour?"

DAD: "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?" the man said angrily.

SON: "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?"

DAD: "If you must know, I make 500rs an hour."

SON: "Oh," the little boy replied, with his head down.

SON: "Daddy, may I please borrow 200rs?"
The father was furious, "If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior."

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think: Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that 50rd and he really didn't ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

"Are you asleep, son?" He asked.

"No daddy, I'm awake," replied the boy.

"I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier" said the man.

"It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the 200rs you asked for."

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. "Oh, thank you daddy!" He yelled.

Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.

The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

"Why do you want more money if you already have some?" the father grumbled.

"Because I didn't have enough, but now I do," the little boy replied.

"Daddy, I have 500rs now. Can I buy an hour of your time?

Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you."

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.

We never understand how important our time is for our loved ones. They are the real treasure we have. Try to cherish them. Money can never take their place.

B737 mid air collision with the Embraer Legacy while cruising at 35,000 feet over South America

The world saw the disappearance of an A330 Air Frane during a Trans Atlantic flight between Rio to Paris. I got a mail of the photos taken a a passenger on a flight mins after a mid air collision, and mins before the crash of the sa i d aircraft (GOL B 737 )

Two shots taken inside the plane before it crashed. Unbelievable!
Photos taken inside the GOL B 737 aircraft that was involved in a mid air collision and crashed.....

A B737 had a mid air collision with the Embraer Legacy while cruising at 35,000 feet over South America. The Embraer Legacy, though seriously damaged with the winglet ripped off, managed to make a landing at a nearby airstrip in the midst of the Amazon jungle. The crew and passengers of the Embraer Legacy had no idea what they had hit. The B737 however crashed, killing all crew and passengers on board.

The two photos attached were apparently taken by one of the passengers in the B737, just after the collision and before the aircraft crashed.
The photos were retrieved from the camera's memory stick. In the first photo, there is a gaping hole in the fuselage through which you can see the tailplane and vertical fin of the aircraft. In the second photo, one of the passengers is being sucked out of the gaping hole.